Thursday, 12/8
3 p.m. Tea. With finals rapidly approaching: paper topics you're actually equipped to write. Rose Parlor.
Friday, 12/9
3 p.m. Tea. The Use of the Maternal as a Symbol of the Divine in Madame Bovary's Wikipedia Entry. Rose Parlor.
8 p.m. Night Owls Final Concert. These fine ladies can go up the ladder to my roof any time they want. Rocky 200.
Saturday, 12/10
8 p.m. "The Skin of Our Teeth." Ew. Martel.
11 p.m. Moulin Rouge. Voulez-vous couchez avec moi (et my humidifier and nightly pore-shrinking clay mask?) Villard Room.
Sunday, 12/11
6 p.m. Axies Final Concert. These dapper gentlemen can give me the beat and free my soul any hour of the day or night. Rocky 200.
8 p.m. Class of 2015 De-Stress Open Mic. "I wrote this piece of slam poetry about all the struggles I've experienced, such as having a five-page lab report and a six-page Intro Cog Sci final due ON THE SAME DAY. But I'm not a hero." UpC.
8 p.m. Vassar Devils Final Concert. This good-lookin' bunch of chicks and dudes can make me cra— oh my god this is literally horrible I'm so sorry I'll stop. Basically, it's a cappella concert time. All you guys need are the Sparknotes. Taylor Auditorium.
Monday, 12/12
3 p.m. Tea. How a Cold Manages to Spread to the Entire Vassar Student Body Over the Course of a Single Mug Night. Rose Parlor.
7 p.m. Measure 4 Measure Final Concert. Girls sparkles Regina Spektor. Rocky 200.
9 p.m. Vastards Final Concert. Volume choir boy bands. Rocky 300.
Tuesday, 12/13
3 p.m. Tea. Our Friend the Wompwomp: Why Watching Those Lil' Guys Sprint Lumpenly Across Your Path Kicks Your Endorphins Into Overdrive. Rose Parlor.
3:30 p.m. BAM Final Concert. Jazz hands medleys "Wicked." Rocky 200.
9 p.m. Matthew's Minstrels Final Concert. Choreography 80s…minstrelsy? Oh dear, this joke really isn't much better. Sanders Auditorium.
10 p.m. Trivia Night. Question #XXXVI: How long will it take for a certain unnamed columnist of mine to get his Georgetown Law acceptance revoked, once the admissions office catches wind of the ridiculousness he produces on a semi-weekly basis? Mug.
Wednesday, 12/14
3 p.m. Tea. Because it Looks Like Sprite: An Ethnosocial Examination of How Rolling Rock in Cans Became, Like, a Thing This Year. Rose Parlor.

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