Alum’s film on HIV survivor wins at Cannes

"Towards the end, I was just praying that he would die."

As Randy Baron relays a visceral description of his former partner's painful ascendance to a death of AIDS–related complications, his speech remains even and eloquent and it's impossible to ignore the power of his unwavering gaze. His eyes are shining wet, never breaking contact with the viewer, imparting a sense of human urgency that is wholly undeniable.

The impact of Alex Camilleri '10's documentary Still Here, is apparent even in just this opening scene. The film follows Baron, an HIV-positive New York City native who possesses a genetic mutation that has allowed him to remain in good health. He recounts his tragic experiences during the AIDS epidemic in the '80s, offering a profoundly emotional and candid insight into the nature of the outbreak; not only did he suffer the loss of his partner, but of virtually all of his friends as well. Camilleri's film, initially a project for his Documentary Workshop class, has seen considerable success, most notably receiving an award for best student documentary at Cannes Film Festival's American Pavilioni Emerging Filmmaker Showcase this past May. But even if Still Here is a successful film, it is more importantly a successful representation of a cause frequently overlooked.

Camilleri first met Baron in the fall of 2008, when he came to campus to talk about his experience with HIV/AIDS. Though Camilleri was only attending the event to support a friend who had organized it, and in fact initially intended to sneak out early, he was quickly taken by Baron's presentation.

"The best way I could describe the way I felt as Randy told us his heartbreaking story was that it was as if someone had grabbed all the nerves in my body and shaken them violently," he wrote in an e-mailed statement. "Because I'm interested in making films, I feel like I'm always tucking away interesting story ideas when I hear them. One of my initial reactions to hearing Randy speak was, ‘Someone needs to make a movie about his life.'"

A year later, Baron came to mind as Camilleri, a film and English double major, brainstormed ideas for his Documentary Workshop class. At first Baron's experience seemed too expansive for a shorter, lower-budget film, but then Camilleri had an epiphany.

"My ‘eureka moment' was realizing that no one could really tell this story except Randy," he said. "So that was my jumping off point. That was how I decided that I could make this film: really by letting Randy tell his story with as little interference as possible." The topic was picked as one of six proposals, and with the help of his classmates Camilleri set to work.

With Baron as the sole focus of the project, particularly given the intensely emotional nature of the subject matter Camilleri and his crew were documenting, the relationship that developed between the two throughout filming was key to its progress. Baron, in a phone interview, credited Camilleri's consistent professionalism as a vital part of this. "I think he had a very clear idea of what he wanted the film to be, and I think he was excellent as a director," he said. "He led me basically to really do the kind of film that he wanted."

This involved a certain level of attentiveness while attempting to capture the depth of Baron's story. "Each week involved entering a kind of delicate emotional cocoon with Randy and also trying to sustain a healthy working relationship," said Camilleri. "We needed him to be open and emotional for the quality of the film, but we did not want to cross a line and make him uncomfortable or reticent. That would have jeopardized the entire project."

When viewing the documentary, it's clear that some scenes were painful to shoot. Baron describes filming to be an emotionally strenuous experience, recalling in particular one segment in which he recounts an incident in which a friend dying of AIDS asked him to help him commit suicide. "We filmed on-site at the building where he lived," he recalled, "and I had not been back there since 1989, so going back was a very painful experience. The film was very draining and yet it was also very satisfying to do."

Even in the early days of filming, when Camilleri would bring material shot over the weekend into his class, it seems as if it was apparent that the film struck a nerve. But its reception since has only magnified its potential.

Camilleri had the perhaps surreal experience of attending Cannes himself, of which he offered, "the Cannes Film Festival is pretty weird, dude." On a more serious note, he continued, "I could imagine that there may be students who want to have an experience like that too, but going to the Cannes Film Festival shouldn't be anywhere near a priority. It wasn't for us when we started Still Here. I think for the most part Vassar students are equipped to have a healthy perspective on their art and a strong enough work ethic that they will be successful whether festival accolades follow or not."

In addition to the Cannes honors, the documentary has picked up numerous prizes, including Best Gay/Lesbian Film at the New York City Downtown Short Film Festival and Audience Choice Award at Brown's Ivy Film Festival.

However, noted Camilleri, "It's difficult not to feel vampiric in the sense that we descended on Randy, captured his life story, and are now getting attention for it." He describes some discomfort with the way Baron himself has been left out of the attention the film has received, describing a cycle of buzz feeding on buzz that may have the potential to detract from the very real message of the documentary.

"Perhaps part of it has to do with the strange sort of "fictionalizing" power of the film medium; even though his is a true story, maybe the process of being made into a film subject renders Randy Baron a less real person to viewers," explained Camilleri. "He somehow seems inaccessible to people, which is troubling because I don't want the film to be a closed-loop.

"I hope the film inspires people to learn more about the history of HIV/AIDS in this country, to try to understand the human cost of the disease, and to reach out to valuable individuals, like Randy, who survived a very traumatic time," said Camilleri. "In a way, the response has missed the point of the film: to celebrate Randy as the very real person that he is."

At the same time, Baron celebrates the opportunities for education that promotion of the film may allow. "Anything that will promote the film in my mind is fine, and the content of the film speaks for itself," he said. "If speaking of Alex's success or the success of the film gets more people interested in seeing it, that's even better in my mind…I really do feel that there's less attention being paid in the media to HIV and there's actually virtually no attention being paid to the true history of HIV in the United States and what the early epidemic was like."

Baron is playing an active role in promoting both the film and HIV/AIDS awareness, pairing Still Here with his in-person presentations to bring an extra dimension of emotion to his message. His enthusiasm for Camilleri's contribution to his awareness project matches Camilleri's enthusiasm for his role in the documentary. "I'm so grateful to Alex," he said. "I really think he's very talented and I hope that he pursues documentary as his aspect of film direction, because documentaries can really, really be powerful tools, and I'm grateful that he managed to come up with this idea and to bring it to such a level of excellence."