Angela Aiuto

I applied to Vassar under the Early Decision plan, demonstrating a commitment to the College as my first choice that only a fraction of applicants are willing to make. But while Vassar was indeed my first choice, I designated it as such more out of a sense of desperation than any real connection to the school. Each friend returned from her college visits bright-eyed and brimming over with excitement about her college of choice, extolling its exceptional academic programs, or its studious but academically laid-back student body, or its proximity to the nearest liquor store. Meanwhile, I was the girl who found her Columbia tour guide too pretentious, the atmosphere at Tufts too hippy-dippy, and my fellow prospies at Brown too weirdly into sailing.

When I first visited Vassar in the fall of 2006—on a whim, as I mainly intended to visit an old high school classmate—I had no idea where I was going to apply. It would be a stretch to say that I received Vassar with the enthusiasm my friends showed, but after I saw the famed stained glass Cornaro Window in the Frederick Ferris Thompson Memorial Library and walked through the arboretum that I now call my campus, I decided that it couldn't be all that bad. So I applied.

In retrospect, maybe it would have been better to figure out what I wanted out of my college experience before I chose one. While I do not regret my decision to attend Vassar—quite the contrary, in fact—I do regret that I did not make better use of my time here. I can hardly remember my first two years at Vassar; the memories are hazy and clouded, like an incident from your childhood that will never be fully—or fairly—recollected. This isn't so much because my first two years at Vassar were such a whirlwind of new experiences and people and emotions, but because I retained the same apathy about the opportunities available to me that I had had in high school. No particular academic program inspired my curiosity; I eventually decided to declare a major in political science after I decided that department had the most entertaining professors. I signed up for membership in approximately 50 student organizations during my first week here—don't we all?—but quickly lost interest.

It would seem that eventually, though, ambivalence paid off. Even my two-year stint as a member of The Miscellany News' editorial board—singlehandedly the most enriching, meaningful and memorable aspect of my time here—began on something of a whim, when a horrendously fact checked column in the Opinions section—a rarity in the Miscellany, I assure you—annoyed my sophomore self to the point of writing a letter to the editor. I continued to write guest columns throughout the year, always at the editor's request. I only thought about the position of opinions editor—not really knowing what to expect, or how deep of a commitment I would truly be willing to make—when a terrible break-up left me with far too much free time to be heartbroken and pathetic. So I applied.

I'm not sure what it is about the Miscellany, but this newspaper has stirred something completely unfamiliar in me. It's difficult to put into words, but more than anything, the Miscellany has been a gateway into a world in which I feel invested. I have learned so much about this college and its people during my time on this newspaper that I now must make an effort to not get worked up about things. I have also learned more about myself—as a friend, coworker, writer, editor and plain old human being—from the Miscellany editors than anyone else. I should probably be angry with the Miscellany editors for their large role in my probably reckless decision to pursue a career in journalism, but I love them far too much to say goodbye on such a sour note. Instead, I can only say thank you, and that I wish I had known you longer.

Of course, I could not reflect on my time at Vassar without also thinking of my dear friend Andrew Spencer, who taught me so much about relationships and self-respect, but also about California, submarines and baseball. I would be remiss not to mention my father, possibly the only person to provide unlimited and unwavering support of my decision to come here. I am convinced that I would not have made it through these four years without either of you.

And while I leave Vassar as I left high school, still without a concrete plan, I am at least satisfied to say and confident in knowing that I am leaving with some direction.

—Angela Aiuto is the outgoing senior editor of The Miscellany News.