Crane on GOP: When will we stop laughing?

Karl Marx famously said that historical events and personalities tend to occur twice: the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.

After the tragedy of Reagan's administration and the farce of George W. Bush, and in light of those struggling to claim their legacies in the Republican primaries we might be forgiven for altering his aphorism this way: history will reoccur as farce until finally people aren't laughing anymore.

A week ago, Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary, dashing Mitt Romney's hopes of wrapping up an easy victory. I was a bit disappointed by this—God strike me down if I have any love for Romney—but I was hoping the GOP campaigns, which have seemed like some kind of contest to show who can be the most bigoted, reactionary and out of touch with the concerns of ordinary Americans, might come to an early end.

I suppose that we should be grateful that at least Michele Bachmann, about whom the less said the better, and Rick Perry, whose religious fervor is only matched by his enthusiasm for executions, have been knocked out of the race. John Huntsman, who I have previously described as "the boring man's Mitt Romney," also had his campaign go the way of a really pathetic dinosaur.

Natural selection does seem to work in the political process, even if it tends to operate much more slowly than we would hope.

And then there were four. In one corner we have Mitt Romney, long the "acceptable" candidate who may be capable of beating Barack Obama, but not much can be said about otherwise—a bit like John Kerry in 2004. We have Rick Santorum in another, who still hasn't won a primary yet, and whose outrageous homophobia have made his name equivalent to a mix of fecal matter and anal lube for a generation of Americans.

Somehow Ron Paul is also still in the race, although I doubt even he thinks he can win anymore. Paul is distinguished from the other candidates in that he has the guts to say what all the rest believe —that if you can't afford health insurance, you should be left in the street to die, and if you suffer from sexual harassment at your job, you should find another job. He also believes in ending the war in Afghanistan; though not to worry, he thinks that those troops should be redeployed to the border with Mexico.

And then we have Gingrich, the up-and-comer, a man whose largest accomplishments are having once shut down the federal government 18 years ago, and vigorously prosecuting a standing president for an extramarital liaison at the same time he was cheating on his own wife, a man who is best described in the words of Paul Krugman: "a stupid man's idea of what a smart man sounds like."

We might be forgiven for wondering whether Gingrich has the organization or finances to follow up on his recent triumph. He is not even on the ballot in Virginia, having screwed up the signature process.

In a moment that would be hilarious any other time but has become typical for this campaign, his manager promised a massive write-in campaign by his supporters, without realizing that Virginia's ballot law does not allow write-ins.

Of course, all of these developments must delight Democrats, especially President Obama. I can pretty securely predict that Obama's campaign will be run with none of the glamor, the promises of change and hope that so energized liberals four years ago.

This time, all he has to do is say, "look how terrible those guys are." A look at any of the GOP candidates on offer must make Obama look healthy and sane by comparison.

And yet. Those who will hold their noses and vote for the "lesser evil" in 2012 might do well to remember that Obama has carried through none of the major promises he made four years ago.

Corporate healthcare is alive and well, and poised to make more profits than ever before. Deportations of "illegal" immigrants and civil rights violations against terror suspects have reached a height that I doubt George Bush even dreamed of. Obama accelerated the bailouts of Wall Street, and they are prepared to pay him back by generously donating to his re-election campaign.

Fortunately, we have an alternative to watching this unfolding freak show with rapt attention. While the occupation of Hulme Park was broken up a month ago, Occupy Poughkeepsie is still alive and well with ongoing activities in outreach and against foreclosures in the community. If you want to be involved and actually make a difference (not to mention preserve your own sanity) you would do well to give it a try.

—Bill Crane '12 is an Asian studies major. He is also a member of the International Socialist Organization.