Thursday, 1/26
3 p.m. Tea. "Oh my God, hi! How was your break? You went home to [suburb in Connecticut], right?" Rose Parlor.
Friday, 1/27
3 p.m. Tea. "Yeah, it was great! I saw all [single-digit number] friends I still have from high school, and we drank [brand of vodka named after a fake Russian word] and drove my [brand of minivan exclusively in the purview of soccer moms] to [fast-food chain]. Just like old times." Rose Parlor.
5 p.m. JY Welcome Back. Oh look, it's your lab partner you once tongue-kissed who you semi-pretended died! And that girl who lived on your hall freshmen year! Yep, she's definitely wearing your boots she told you got stolen during a fire drill, and she definitely wore them all through Nepal. Wait this event sucks. Villard Room.
10 p.m. Guilty Pleasures Mug Night. I don't have any guilty pleasures. Now STFU and let me get back to pumicing my heels and watching the entire first season of Downton Abbey in one sitting. Mug.
Saturday, 1/28
11 p.m. Shiva Rave. A brief history of my Shiva Raves. Freshman year: made out with the guy I would proceed to date for the next two-and-a-half years, left within 10 minutes. Sophomore year: urinary tract infection, left within 10 minutes. Junior year: fire hazard, shut down within 10 minutes. Senior year: better be at least 22 hours long to make up for all that lost time. Shiva.
Sunday, 1/29
11 a.m. Hug-a-Senior-Whose-Thesis-Draft-is-Due-Tomorrow-Day. The 24-Hour Study Space/the THs/one of those dining rooms in the Deece that they begged an underclassman to swipe them into.
4 p.m. The Superbowl. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. A field someplace.
Monday, 1/30
3 p.m. Tea. "Nice. I visited my [noncommittal euphemism for "boyfriend"] in [foreign country where they mostly speak English]. It was really fun but I think the food gave me [weird endocrine disease]." Rose Parlor.
Tuesday, 1/31
3 p.m. Tea. "Aw, that's too bad. Hope it's cleared up. What classes are you taking? I'm in Deconstruction of [subject in the humanities] and thinking of declaring an [other subject in the humanities virtually indistinguishable from the first] major. I'm really nervous about my intro [soft science] class but my advisor says I can NRO it." Rose Parlor.
10 p.m. Trivia Night. Question #69: On a scale from one to boner-factory, where, objectively, does Jimmy Wales fall? Mug.
Wednesday, 2/1
3 p.m Tea. "Ooh, good luck with that. I'm taking a light load this semester so I can be in [play that's definitely been performed here within the past twelve months but it's okay because this time it's *experimental*]. After all, I'm just a [freshman/sophomore/junior/college student]—I don't need to have everything figured out yet!" "Preach." Rose Parlor.
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