Morgan Mako

Looking back on my time at Vassar College, I am filled with gratitude for my time spent as a member of the Crew Team and for most recently having the honor to serve as Captain. One year ago, when the team's varsity status was revoked, I thought I would lose what mattered most; one year later, the team is on its way to becoming one of the most competitive club teams in the northeast. Each day, I am in awe of the work my team puts forth, its unbridled success, and the respect and support each rower maintains for another. My time at Vassar is the Rowing Team.

There is something both sacred and healing about being on the river before the sunrise. Although I gave up a normal life when I became a member of the Vassar Crew Team, I never realized how much I would gain by devoting myself to this sport and this group of people. In a way, I think rowing saved my life, for it was during one of its most challenging (and yet formative) periods that I decided to yoke myself to this discipline. There is an unfolding that happens when you stay with something this long, sit with it, and at last surrender. There is a place that is carved out, one in which you can stand and begin to see yourself, really, for the first time. This can be beautiful and yet also extremely painful as you grow with yourself and your boat throughout the seasons.

As far as I know, there is no sport other than rowing, which is bound so intimately to the flow of the Time. A rower begins his or her year in the Autumn and stays on the water until the onset of Winter and can physically no longer endure the cold. We then remain indoors until early Spring, going through one of the most grueling periods known as "Winter Training" before the Hudson thaws and permits us to return.

This past season, under the guidance of my advisor, Beth Darlington, and a generous grant from the Carolyn Grant Fay '36 Endowment, I was able to help design and oversee an eight-week long meditation and stress-reduction program with the Rowing Team. The team was required to meet once weekly in a group setting and then practice daily on its own throughout the course. When we began in January in the dead of Winter, I did not foresee the effects of this work on those who chose to participate or the sense of gratitude I would feel toward them as my teammates.

It is one thing to train with a teammate, but how many captains have the honor of watching someone begin to see that they have value? To love him or herself? To find a new sense of faith in what they do with clarity and ease. Or perhaps to admit that they aren't who they thought they were? I do. As I watched my teammates throughout their experiences with meditation this semester, I realized just how far we had all come: this wasn't just about rowing any more; this was much, much bigger. This was about finding a sense of self-worth, healing from the anxieties of the demands to perform, compassion, and the value of time spent together both on and off the water.

And for me, personally, my time spent with the senior members of the team, Peter Muhn, Alina von Korff, and Evan Ross, has been one of utmost joy. To grow with these three individuals has been one of the most rewarding experiences I could have ever had while at Vassar. They remind me daily of what it means to be both a rower and a friend. Their dedication is unmatched and I will remember my years spent with them throughout the seasons on the river, grateful for the time which seems to have passed me in the blink of an eye. Who knows where the Time goes? Perhaps it does not matter when you are with those whom you love, united by a single passion. The value of Time…

—Morgan Mako is the captain of Vassar Rowing.