Top College News Subscribe to the Newsletter

Humor & Satire | Weekly Calendar: 02/16-02/22

Humor & Satire Editor

Published: Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Updated: Wednesday, February 15, 2012 16:02

Thursday, 2/16

3 p.m. Tea. In light of the proposed smoking ban (quick, you guys, get on SayAnything STAT): other stuff we should ban. Rose Parlor.

6 p.m. Pour Some Sugar on Me. Or like, red pepper hummus and some Strawberry Andre. Whatever's on hand. Villard

7 p.m. Festival of Mexican Cinema. I'll be there. And I'm bringing tu mama tambien. Chicago.

Friday, 2/17

3 p.m. Tea. That delightful phenomenon whereby sometimes Kismat doesn't show up to Tasty Tuesday and your whole entire trip to campus is wasted. ("Class" and "extracurricular activities" are all just thinly veiled excuses.) Rose Parlor.

Saturday, 2/18

9 a.m. No Such Convention. The keynote speaker is a unicorn with a horn made of Nilda's who really believes that Democrats and Republicans can find some common ground if they only just spent more time power-cuddling. College Center.

7:30 p.m. Student-Faculty Basketball Game. This event should be about community-building and team spirit, not divisiveness and intoxication. So with that in mind, drink every time a certain dean of the college is thoughtful and generous to the opposing team. Walker.

8 p.m. Squirm Sex Toy Silent Auction. Won't be so silent once you win the auction. ZIIIIIIIIIIIIING. Jade Parlor.

Sunday, 2/19

12 p.m. "the house-shaped hole—what happened while my parents were out." I threw a rager and three people got pregnant, duh. Just kidding, I actually spent the whole weekend feng-shui-ing the dining room and eating chocolate chips directly from the bag. Palmer Gallery. (Ongoing.)

Monday, 2/20

12 p.m. Google Apps Q&A. "So like, do they have an app for LaundryView yet? How about one that tells you when UpC is out of ice cream? Or whether the person you're grinding with has hooked up with more than 50 percent of your freshmen fellow group? WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT?" Aula.

3 p.m. Tea. People who Skype in the Library. People who don't know how whenisgood works. People who think "MidC" is a thing. Rose Parlor.

Tuesday, 2/21

3 p.m. Tea. Any romantic partner who believes it's okay to stick his or her whole entire tongue in your ear. Rose Parlor.

Wednesday, 2/22

10 a.m. All College Day 2012. This year's theme is The Vassar Community: Everyone's Included: Except for You, High Schooler from Michigan: And Actually You 75 High School Students Too: Sorry, We Still Feel Kind of Like D-Bags: But Here's a Bouncy Castle. College Center.

3 p.m. Tea. Bucket lists. Sports. Cuffed jeans. Patriarchy. Moodle posts. Bylaws. Rose Parlor.  

Recommended: Articles that may interest you

Be the first to comment on this article!







log out