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Humor & Satire | Weekly Calendar: 02/23-02/29

Humor & Satire Editor

Published: Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Updated: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 16:02

Thursday, 2/23

3 p.m. Tea. Things to do with that extra leap-year day. ("But Alanna, that's not how leap-years work!" "Shhhhhhhhh.") Rose Parlor.

6 p.m. Reforestation Gala. It'll be just like your junior prom, only minus your date upchucking white wine spritzer all over your rented tux and plus eco-guilt. Villard Room.

9 p.m. FWA Cabaret: We FWAound Love in a Hopeless Place. Fancier theme ideas: FWA Cabernet. FWA Ca-beret. FWA Ca-borai pri hagafen*. Aula.

*Not fancier, just less goy.

Friday, 2/24

3 p.m. Tea. Grab a CHOICE envelope and that cute soccer player who you keep making eye contact with when you're both brushing your teeth in the communal bathroom. After several minutes of heavy petting, decide you'd both rather watch a New Girl marathon instead. Rose Parlor.

6 p.m. "Harlot/Nun." Dog/Cat. Mom/Dad. Daytime/Nighttime. Lana Del Ray/Cappy. Shiva.

Saturday, 2/25

1 p.m. Bookstore Book Club. If this is anything like my mom's book club, get pumped for a whole lot of wine, Sparknotes and middle-aged women asking ad nauseum whether or not the tiger was REALLY in the boat the whole time. Bookstore. 

10 p.m. Seven Deadly Sins. More like Seven Deadly Lins, amirite? LOOK YOU GUYS NEUROTIC JEWISH ENGLISH MAJORS KNOW ABOUT BASKETBALL TOO SOMETIMES. Jewett.

Sunday, 2/26

3 p.m. Scrabble Tournament. We live in a society where "qi," "za" and "jo" are all acceptable Scrabble words, and "antifeminist" and "Nutella" are not. I'm going to raise my kids in a tree. Faculty Commons.

3 p.m. VRDT Bardavon Gala. It'll be just like your senior prom, only minus your date coming out to you at the beach-house after-party and plus "Jai Ho" and a bunch of leotards.

Off-site: Bardavon Opera House.

7:30 p.m. The Oscars. Wilde. Schindler. The Grouch. That obnoxious 12-year-old from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. UpC.

Monday, 2/27

3 p.m. Tea. Question your burgeoning heterosexuality. Rose Parlor.

Tuesday, 2/28

3 p.m. Tea. Stake out the Deece for a full 12 hours. Eavesdrop on conversations, track patterns of French-fry rotation, analyze the crucial spoon-to-fork ratio. Submit your findings to NPR/The Chronicle. Rose Parlor.

8 p.m. "Measure for Measure." Come feast your eyes on William Shakespeare's gripping tale of lust, betrayal and an all-female a cappella group that just really really wanted to sing some Regina Spektor. Martel.

Wednesday, 2/29

3 p.m. Tea. Work on your thesis. Like a BITCH. Rose Parlor.  

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